35 Rowing Jokes: The Funny Side of Crew

Anyone who knows me knows that I really love a good laugh. Life is too short to be a sour puss so I thought that, for a change, I would post a few jokes poking fun at rowing life.

If this sounds like a good time to you, then you are in the right place.

Get on board our latest rowing shell – now officially named the Yuk-It-Up.

• Related Topic:  Inspirational Quotes for Rowers

10 Oar-some Crew Jokes

OK, so some of these are real groaners, but we’ll make fun of some rowing terms and hopefully put a smile on your face.

1. Why did the rower bring a ladder to the regatta? – They heard it was essential for reaching new “heights” in their strokes!
2. Why was the rowing team always so punctual? – Because they were experts at “oar-ganizing” their time!
3. What’s a rower’s favorite dessert? – “Crew”-stard pudding! You’ll love it for shore!
4. Why did the rower bring his date on the boat? – He thought it would be ROWmantic.
5. To sit in the stroke seat, you have to be – a little bit more STERN than everyone else.
6. Why did the rookie bring a net to rowing practice? – They thought they were going to catch crabs for dinner!
7. Why did the rower bring a ladder to the boathouse? – To reach those high “row”-tations and aim for the sky!
8. What do you call a rowing machine that’s always late? – A row-bot.
9. Did you hear about the rower who wore two jackets when he painted the boat house? – The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
10. What do you call a rower who’s always late? – A stroke of bad luck.

Some call these dad jokes, but I always wondered why. In my house, it was my mother who made the worst jokes ever, but I smile now whenever I think of them.

• Check Out Our Funny Rowing Puns!

10 Funny Rowing Gym Humor

Ah, the erg! The exercise machine you love to hate! Let’s poke some fun at our ergs. After all, it’s that OAR nothing. (There’s one of my mother’s frequent jokes!)

1. Why did the indoor rower get removed from the gym? – It was always giving people the silent treatment.
2. What do you call an erg that runs late? – The latest model.
3. A rower walks into a bar, “I’ll have sex on the beach OAR nothing.”
4. Rower walks into the gym, takes one look at the erg and says, “Oh Hell!”
5. A woman buys an erg for her home gym. She’s a little confused and asks her husband, “I don’t understand how I add weight to it.”
   The husband smiled and said, “You sit on it, dear.”
6. Ergometer is an acronym for “Evil Rowing Gadget Obviously Made Entirely To Enslave Rowers.”
7. You know you’ve been erging too long when a song comes on the radio and you think, “I could do a 2K to this.”
8. If you are what you eat, – when did I eat an incredibly sexy erg?
9. You know you’re into rowing when – you are more worried about your erg score than your school test score.
10. Overheard at the gym: “I can’t tell if I have to pee or if I’ve been on this erg so long I’ve gone numb”

Those weren’t quite the groaners that the previous set was- I can tell if I’m improving OAR not.

10 More Rowing Jokes

I think I’ve got a few more I can entertain you with. Get your ducks in a ROW, folks, and let’s go!

1. What’s a rowing crew’s favorite type of music? – Rowck and Rowll, of course!
2. What did the whole crew do after winning the lottery? – They bought their own island for an early rowtirement.
3. Why do rowing crews make terrible comedians? – Because their jokes always “row in one ear and out the other”!
4. Chuck Norris is such a badass– he doesn’t get blisters when he rows, the oar does!
5. When someone asks if rowing is just paddling… We will row-act like we didn’t hear that!
6. Whoever invented rowing really missed the boat. If they had waited a couple thousand years, – they could have called it the ROW Bot.
7. I told the person who broke my boat – they could go to hull!
8. Why do rowers make terrible bartenders? – They water down the drinks.
9. Why do rowers love these jokes so much? – Because they are OARsome!
10. On a rowboat, good timing is CREWcial.

Ok, some of these were stinkers, but you still laughed, right?

My Favorite 5 Rowing Jokes

The following 5 jokes have to be my all-time favorites:

1. Did you hear about the rower who tried to sabotage the other team? – He sweeps with the fishes.
2. Which race is never run? – A regatta.
3. There was a big sale at the sporting goods store the other day. It was quite the OAR-deal.
4. Where do zombies go rowing? – The Dead Sea.
5. Oh BOUY! It’s race day!

I guess you have to have a rowing sense of humor to find these funny, but what can I say? I think I’m funny, but some days it seems like I’m the only one.

Before You Go

I hope you liked my best rowing jokes. Putting these together is hard work, but if I don’t write something daily, I’m afraid I’ll go under!

Just kidding. 😉

Feel free to share these these with your friends and fellow rowers! If you have any other funny rowing jokes that you’d like to share with our rowing community – whether you find them on Facebook or Instagram, or you invent some yourself – please feel free to email them to us via our Contact Page, Facebook or YouTube Channel.  We would love to see them!😊

Keep rowing, friends, like there’s no tomorROW.